there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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