Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
