So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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