And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
