one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
