don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
