worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
two words: eviction party
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
