"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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