We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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