I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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