OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
