We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
