You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
