He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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