guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
