Soap is not a condiment
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
