I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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