his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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