I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
