I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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