I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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