Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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