Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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