She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
