it's too hot outside to masturbate.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
