So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A+ Viking dick
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
