This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
