One girl and one boy is just not enough.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
