If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
