i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
