Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
