Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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