You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
