Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's never too late to be topless.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You made out with two different species that night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
