I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
