Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My breasts were aching with rage.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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