You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
