Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
