Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
