They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
