her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
