Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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