dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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