alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
