I want to stick my p in your. b.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
