He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
