I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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