we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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