I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
