Just fell off a train. Bad.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
