Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
